Dear Charming (part 1)

Dear charming,

I am going to call you charming because to me, that’s what you were from the very beginning. I remember the times we had brief encounters in the past and we barely spoke but you always intrigued me. Also knowing the fact that you had a tiny crush on me just fueled my curiosity. By the time we actually became friends, I was in a confusing period of my life. In the midst of the constant battle inside my head regarding feelings about my long-term boyfriend and my pre-midlife crisis, you were like a breath of fresh air with your dark humor and charm. You came in like a storm, dark and deadly. Talking to you made me feel like I was learning to know myself in a new light. I guess for me, darkness is the new light.

I know I keep insisting that breaking up with my ex wasn’t caused by you, but I have to be truthful. You were kind of the reason behind my breakup. And before you jump to any conclusions, hold on for a second. It wasn’t like I suddenly fell for you and decided that my boyfriend of 4 years meant nothing to me. Nothing of that sort I assure you but the actual cause was how you made me feel as a person. How you made me realize that I’m worth more than I give myself credit.

Before you came, I was content with my life and didn’t have any qualms about where it was leading me. I admit I wasn’t the happiest with the mediocre turn of events in my life, but I did choose that life and was living with it. Although my life was going in a loop, I was only familiar to that and I had accepted that fact. But then we started talking I just wasn’t the same person anymore. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I had an out of the world change or anything, but I guess sometimes change is inevitable and necessary and before I even knew it I was just not the same person anymore.

My feelings for you were so deeply rooted that it took me by a storm when we danced in my room that day and when we kissed that day under my staircase, I knew I was a goner. (after my breakup of course, to anyone else reading this). And I don’t mean to be rude to any past lovers, but you knew how to elicit sparks way deep down my core. Anyways long story short, I fell for you hook, line and sinker and very hopelessly too.

However, everything has its pros and cons and regardless of how things were for us, we were never meant to be together. I remember seeing this quote on Poems Porn that said, “There’s nothing worse than meeting the right person at the wrong time” and out of everything in the universe we just had to be that couple.  I guess the universe needed to have a good laugh at our expense.



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